"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.  That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." 

    - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
 

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"Aim towards the Enemy." 

    - Instruction printed on US LAWS Rocket Launcher  (For real!, I've seen it!)
 

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"Carpet bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate.  The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." 

    - USAF Ordinance Technician
 

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"If the enemy is in range, so are you." 

    - Infantry Journal
 

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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." 

    - U.S. Air Force Manual
 

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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."    

- Infantry School Instructor
 

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 "You, you, and you ... Panic.  The rest of you, come with me."    

    - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
 

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"Tracers work both ways." 

    - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual
 

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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." 

    - U.S. Navy Swabbie (remember NAVY means Never Again Volunteer Yourself!)
 

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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."    

    - David Hackworth (founder and 1st commander of Delta Force)
 

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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." 

    - Joe Gay
 

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"Any ship can be a minesweeper . .....once."

    - my division officer on my 1st midshipman cruise aboard FF-1049 USS Koelsch 1979
 

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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."    

    - Unknown Marine Recruit
 

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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."  
 

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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." 

    - USN Ordinance
 

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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." 

    - At the entrance to the old SR-71 hangers on Kadena Airbase, Japan
 

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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." 

    - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
 

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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." 

    - Unknown Naval Aviator
 

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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes at the bottom ocean than submarines in the sky." 

    - From an old carrier sailor
 

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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
 

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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
 

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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club." 

    - Seen posted at NAS Pensacola
 

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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? 

    If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies;

    If ATC screws up, .... The pilot dies."
 

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"Never trade luck for skill."
 

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The three most common _expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:

        "What's that noise?"

        "Where are we?" 

        And "Oh S...!"
 

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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
 

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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
 

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"Airspeed, altitude and brains.  Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
 

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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."
 

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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
 

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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
 

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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
 

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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." 

    - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
 

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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible." 

    - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
 

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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." 

    - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

 

"There is no reason to fly through a hurricane in peace time"

    - seen scrawled in the bathroom onboard a NOAA WP-3D Hurricane Hunter
 

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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
 

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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air.  Do not go near the edges of it.  The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.  It is much more difficult to fly there."

    -  attributed to Orville Wright
 

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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
 

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And just when you thought it was safe...

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". 

The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" 

    - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)